Break out your blue eyeliner and your fave shade of Wet N Wild: Diablo Cody, scribe of Juno (and Jennifer’s Body, but everyone makes mistakes), is set to adapt the seminal 80s book series Sweet Valley High into a new flick. I’m penciling it into my trapper keeper!
Kevin Federline, former Mr. Spears and current Pillsbury Doughboy body double, is about to add “reality game show contestant” to his resume. K. Fed will join the upcoming season of Celebrity Fit Club, along with his other ex-wife, Shar Jackson. K. (well) Fed, you may lose the pounds but you’ll never gain my love. I’m Team Britney, all the way.
Spotted: Jessica Simpson, whining over wine with Ken Paves on Saturday. Jess’s BFF/hair guru managed to spring her from her Hollywood Hills manse for the night, but no amount of merlot and merriment could dull the pain of her beloved malti-poo Daisy’s disappearance. Chin up, JS. Life is as short as those Daisy Dukes of yours.
Just like S & B, Lady GaGa grew up on the Upper East Side, attending prestigious private school Sacred Heart. The nuns at her alma matter were none too pleased about GaGa’s racy VMA performance, and now it looks like the “Paparazzi” singer might be headed to confession—or detention. Say your prayers, Lady G—otherwise your next wild costume just might be a habit.
Kevin Jonas is set to wed his longtime girlfriend later this year, and best men Joe and Nick are planning a bachelor party for their big bro that they promise will be “good, clean fun.” Would that entail pinning the tail on the donkey and bobbing for apples? Sorry boys, but in my book, “good” and “clean” don’t even belong in the same sentence as fun. Kevin, if you want a real bachelor party, give me a call. I’m always good at burning up a party.
90210’s Annalynne McCord vamped up the red carpet at an Emmys after party, to dubious success. My report card? A for effort but a C- for that dress. Annalynne, you might be trying to shed your school girl image, but this attempt was nothing short of elementary.
If you were woken up last night by a loud bang, don’t be scared. That was the sound of Khloe Kardashian’s shotgun engagement. She and fiancé Lamar Odom have been dating for less than a month, but will be getting married on SUNDAY. Khloe, I’d love to send a gift. Don’t tell me—you’re registered at Babies R Us?
Hey People!
Our favorite Upper East Siders are moved into their dorms and getting used to the dining halls. But will they survive freshman orientation? Spotted: Lonely Boy looking not so lonely, B desperately trying to reclaim her Queen B throne and…the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the return of G. Watch out, NYU. You’re supposed to make friends your first week of school, but nobody said anything about destroying your old enemies… Tune in TONIGHT at 9/8c on the CW. School may be in, but drama will never be out.
Photo Credit: Ruven Afanador / The CW © 2009
XoXo,
Gossip Girl
I’ll admit it: even I am impressed by Megan Fox’s body of, ahem, work. Unfortunately Megan’s body didn’t translate to box office success for Jennifer’s Body: her latest flick opened at the number 5 spot this weekend. The verdict? Dead and buried before it was ever alive. But don’t worry, Megan. We all still want to make out with you.
Spotted: Courtney Love at the Stanford Hotel, freaking out on the poor person who walked in on her in the bathroom. Don’t worry, Courtney. No one’s going to steal your magazine.
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